Oh no she didn't.....

A post and progress pics after the holidays.....oh no she didn't....yes, yes unfortunately I did and I am damn proud of them! Have I gained weight...you betcha..do I know how much...Nope. Is the back side plumper..you betcha....have I got up a size possibly 2...yes sir. Am I sitting at home crying about it? Listen ladies...In order to gain some muscle things might get uncomfortable..things are going to get ...plumper...but I'm owning it and if you don't like it than that's not my problem.

A smidge has changed since my last post and I hope people don't think I am contradicting myself but I am a firm believer in doing what you want and following your heart. I have moments where competing again looks daunting and wonder if I am up for the challenge but I have taken a long break since my last show and I think I am ready to get back in the game for 2014.

Things will be different this time around seeing that I have A LOT less discretionary income to spend on bikinis and butt glue. I've been able to put a stash away that will help pay for some of the must haves (registration, hair and makeup) but this will be a true test to how much a girl can ball on a budget.

You may be asking yourself ...after all the happy medium posts...you are seriously going to compete again? UGH ...I know, I know...parts of me are slapping myself in the face for a reality check but deep rooted in the pit of my stomach is the urge to get on stage. I have been working really hard on building muscle and I am itching to see what is underneath the fluff. I was legit....cringing at the thought of 1. Putting on a bikini this morning...and 2. Photographing this traumatic event.

To my surprise....I didn't hate. I mean it's the week after Christmas...cut a girl some slack but I was actually pretty excited to see some of my progress over the past 8 months. Sure..there's no abs at the moment but that oblique is under there somewhere. I don't hate my body at the moment at all and I am not competing to lose weight..so don't get that twisted. I am happy with my body and self-control and that is ultimately where I wanted to be before I decided to get on stage again.

If you are wondering if I weighed myself than keep a wonderin cause that ain't going to happen.

Here is my pic from today.....

Here is a comparison from today and Jul.  Yes, I am fluffier today but I can see some growth in my arms and leg muscles.