2 Weeks...A Look Back

 I don't want to go all soft on y'all but I want to reflect back on this journey and how far I have come.

I have never worried about my weight or had body image issues but being involved in athletics in highschool and college always had me doing something active.  I drank...quite a bit...in college and pretty much ate what I wanted but in the months after my graduation things started to catch up.  I stayed in Newport, RI for the summer with my best friends and worked random, sometimes late hours.  Working out somehow fell off of my to-do list and by the time I moved home in September of 2009 my parents looked at my like...what the hell happened?! 




August 2009 @ around 155

My mom had lost a lot of weight my last year of college and when I moved home I was at my highest weight ever (around 156).  I was so uncomfortable in my own skin that I had a hard time being supportive.  I would get snappy with her when she would talk about how her clothes no longer fit because they were too big meanwhile I could barely get in my biggest pair of jeans!  Feeling the way I do now in a new body and new mind frame I can't help but feel bad about how I handled the situation.   I was bitter and unhappy that I had let myself go and went through a stage of depression the first few months I moved home. 
From September 2009 through about November 2011 I had gone up and down with my weight.  I had a trainer at the gym but it wasn't giving me the results that I was looking for.  I thought I was eating right but my willpower was weak and I always managed to revert to bad habits.  I noticed the Get in Shape Girl on facebook and had followed her page but never took it to the next step and signed up. I was constantly living through everyone else's lives and adventures and not living my own.  One day I was just fed up with my routine and decided to just go for it. 

January 2012 (143.5)



Day I joined GISG

This step forever changed my life and the way I look at health and fitness.  From January 2012 to about June 2012 I had lost the 10lbs I had been trying to get off for years!!! I had never really lifted or done circuit training but it brought my fitness level to a place where it had never been before.  I knew what I was eating and why I was eating it.  I switched to eating 5 small meals a day and lowering my carb intake later in the afternoon and night.  All of these things changed my life completely for the better. 

I've become so much more confident in how I look and more importantly feel.  I would have never been able to sign up for this Bikini Show if it weren't for the Get in Shape Girl so I am eternally grateful for meeting someone like Kyra, who prides herself in pushing you to move out of your comfort zone and just GO FOR IT!


My mom and I (sept 2012)

So, now I am here.  It's September 2012 and it has been 3 years since I was at my lowest point.  I am a new woman and I will never look back.  I encourage everyone to try something that literally scares the SH*T out of you and I guarantee it will make you a better person or at least teach you a lot about yourself. 

Show Stats:

Weight: 127
 
 

3 Weeks...Holy Shish-kabobs!!!!

3 Weeks...Holy Shish-kabobs!!!!  3 as in 3, 2, 1....!!!! This is for real and it's happening in less than three weeks and I am beyond excited.  Excited is wrapped in anxious, terrified, thrilling and many other pee your pants types of emotions.  I am dying for ice cream and a hamburger but overall the diet has NOT been unbearable.  The lack of cheats and alcohol are unrealistic for normal life diet but I have to say that I have never felt better. 

I had a great weekend with my family and this experience really helps you to appreciate the people around you!  Saturday, I went to watch a soccer game that my boyfriend helps coach.  Now, if you ask me what my favorite sport to watch is...soccer is not on the top of the list.  There are times in life when you do things because you know someone would really appreciate it and I knew going to the game meant a lot to my boyfriend.  He has been so supportive the last few months and even if I didn't want to watch the game I went to show my support for him and his team because it's what you do for the people you love. 

This weekend was great in terms of progress on Jane Bond!  My glam gun has been collecting dust waiting for me to come up with a routine for my theme wear walk and I kept drawing blanks.  I finally nailed down a quick cute walk that captures the Jane Bond look I was going for with out offending anyone with my gun!  A little wink action and blowing some gun smoke never hurt anyone! 

Stats:
Weight 128

 

4 Weeks...Bling it on!

BIG NEWS!!  My Suits finally arrived!  I have been waiting for these bad boys to arrive since I started this whole process and and being able to put them on made everything feel a thousand times more real. Big shout out to Lidia Conti Designs for creating such a beautiful bikini!  I had two made from her, one for the actual bikini round and the other for the model round.  I had initially purchased the pink fabric to use as my main bikini but switched to teal last minute and I am so glad I did. 

Lidia put as much bling on as she could for the amount I paid but after Sunday Session I found out I need to make that baby shine.  For once in this whole process I actually went to a store to purchase my swarovski crystals and not online!! Not having to wait for something to come in the mail and just be able to go home that day with the purchase is awesome.   Let me tell you, these crystals are not cheap!! I almost had a heart attack at the register when she gave me the total.  The only upside here is that if I had paid someone to do the crystal application my suit probably would have totalled over $600 bucks. 

Here is a before the bling and after bling shot!  I have never bedazzled anything so needless to say I was terrified to start now, on a $200 bikini. 

 The pictures don't really do it justice because you can't see the sparkle...I am really happy with the way it turned out especially since I literally had no game plan.  I highly suggest you get a large coffee before attempting to stone a suit because it took me 6 hours.  I was a bling addict.  I could not stop bedazzling.  After the suit, I did my 007 gun, which looks super cool!  Things are coming together and I cannot believe it's September and we are now in the same month as the show...holy Toledo....time flies! 

Progress Pictures:

No face this week people.  It's a holiday and things were looking a little rough when sleeping beauty woke up!  and the tan is gone...so sad :(

Weight: 127.8

BF: had my BF% taken at the gym at the end of august and it was 15.4

5 Weeks....Re-Charged

Less than 5 weeks away until I strut my stuff on stage! 

This weekend was a bit of a revelation for me.  I had a really hard time last week mentally and was struggling stay positive.  I had a wedding this weekend which I was eagerly awaiting all summer!  I love getting dolled up and who doesn't enjoying papmering themselves and dancing with their friends all night!

While I was super excited to go to the wedding I was equally as nervous about not drinking and the food situation.  I packed my trusty cooler, water, crystal light and blender and felt prepared for the overnight. Not drinking for almost 2 months now has not been an issue for me but this weekend I really struggled.  As everyone was enjoying their wine and mixed drinks at the wedding all I wanted to do was be like everyone else.  I wanted to eat the pretty cupcakes and indulge in the candy bar and not be so rigid but I had to make a choice.  Do I want to drink and feel like crap in the morning when I still have to workout?  Do I want to eat the huge delicious looking cupcake and then feel major regret afterwards? 

I have learned a lot about myself through this process and I have a lot more will power than I have ever given myself credit for.  That night, after the music stopped and party had died down, I went to my room and ate my egg whites and veggies and went to bed.  I felt so proud of myself for not giving into temptation when it's all I wanted to do.  I woke up before brunch and used the hotel gym and managed to get my workout in for the day before 10:00 am.  My goals are more important to me than ever now and I am getting so close that I need to keep that at the forefront of everything I do. 

Show Stats:

PS...got a spray tan for the wedding!! and man did I need it!! 

weight: 130.6

6 Weeks....We're Halfway There

I have officially reached the halfway point on my Wanna B Bikini Queen journey!  I am so ready to get this show on the road I will be honest.  As of right now my diet hasn't changed but as much as I am dreading the cuts I am looking forward to them.  The diet cuts mean I am getting closer to my goal and putting all of this hard work to the test.

This past week has been draining. I have been preparing for this show for 9 weeks and my body and mind can feel it!  9 weeks of pushing your body... 6 days a week of training and eating strict with MINIMAL relaxed meals can be exhausting.  You also come across those people that love to make comments about your routine and about what you're doing WRONG. 

Whether or not I am lifting heavy enough or sprinting fast is really none of your business.  I show up every damn day to the gym and do my workouts.  Then I go home and cook my dinner and then prepare my lunch and cook another meal at 10pm....please do not tell me I am not dedicated or working hard enough!! I find myself looking at other competitors pictures and being really critical of myself and start worrying, what if I don't get there? I am my own person and my body is not the same as anyone else and I have to realize that!  

This process starts to wear you down mentally and physically but the key is how you deal with it.  This whole journey will be over as fast as it started and I want to really enjoy every moment including the hard parts.  As much as I would love to place and do well but whatever the outcome I have to remember that what I am doing...not a lot of people do and I should really be proud of myself for that! 

Show Updates:  Sports wear for model has been ordered!! This was my last big splurge and I am so glad it's over.  For the next few weeks I really have to nail down a theme wear walk for my Jane Bond alter ego.  I have a VERY hard time trying to be sexy so I manage to laugh or make some sort of face when I am trying walk around with my golden gun.  BUILDING MUSCLE!! over the next few weeks I really want to try and up the weights and try and build as much muscle as I can before my diet gets cut. 

It's going to be a bumpy next six weeks folks so buckle up and stay tuned!!!

Progress Pics: 8/20/12
Weight: 130.8

7 Weeks ...Bring the Pain

Since my last post I have had quite an eventful week.  I've completed a 5k road race, experimented with some waxing YIKES, had a birthday boot camp and turned 25! 

I will start off with the wax so then we can move on to happy times.  I am being a little over dramatic because truthfully it wasn't that badddd.  Awkward, most definitely!  Uncomfortable, OH YEAH. Painful, for a second but would I do it again?   Yes and that is said with slight hesistation.  Once the wax was over I could officially enjoy the rest of my weekend.  Sunday, my birthday, I met up with a small group of family and friends for a birthday boot camp.  Seeing as my weekend was full of self-afflicted pain I figured why not feel the burn for my 25th. I have fallen in love with exercise and even though it some times makes me sore or frustrated I never walk away with regret. 

I had celebrated my birthday Saturday night with my family and my mom cooked a great dinner of veggies, steak, chicken sausage and eggplant.  As sad as this will sound I had sugar free pudding for my birthday desert.  I have become such a fitness junkee that instead of make-up or going out clothes which I typically would have asked for I received LuLu lemon gear, polar HRM watch, Tosca Reno's cook book among other sporty things! I cannot wait to get to the gym today and try out the HRM to really see what I am burning during my workouts. 

In show news:  My bikini has officially been paid off along with my model bikini.  I have ordered my hair and make-up appointment for the show, theme wear is done, registration is paid for, test wax is completed, club wear is purchased, tanning supplies purchased...let me catch my breath before I list what I still need to buy LOL...ordering my sportswear this week, checking out clip-in extensions this upcoming weekend, need to hit up the gem store to buy some extra bling for my suit and still need bling for my outfits.   I swear, if you see my on the street corner living in a box posing for change...please donate.

Stats:

August 13, 2012
weight: 131

8 Weeks... Practice Makes Perfect

Another weekend gone by and another week closer to the show.  Summer is literally flying by and it's freaking me out.  My 25th birthday is this upcoming Sunday and I have been so focused on the show that I have completely forgotten to make any plans.  I watched this video on facebook last night about a woman's weight loss journey and for her birthday she held a boot camp instead of the typical bar or dinner scene.  I really love this idea seeing as though I can't drink and my dining options are limited.  I asked a friend to host a boot camp on my birthday and I am super excited about it!  I have to workout Sunday regardless so to be able to do an activity I enjoy with family and friends seems like a perfect option and guilt free.

This weekend was an exhausting one.  A year ago if I had said this, it would mean I was out late drinking and now feel like a zombie at work.  Nowadays, I am exhausted because I had two good workouts Saturday and Sunday and two posing sessions.  Saturday I met up with some savage girls in Boston to do our workouts and practice posing and then Sunday I attended Sunday Session at the CSF studio.  I was really anxious to attend Sunday Session again because the first time I was struggling through the hour workout.  This Sunday I felt like a new woman!  Don't get me wrong here people it hurt and I was dripping but it was a good bearable pain.  I really felt like I could keep up this time around and had a lot more energy during the workout. 

My "relaxed meals" are gone and it's a little scary knowing that my weekends now have to be strict eating.  I was nervous going into the weekend because I have relied on the relaxed meal and would count down the days until it arrived.  I wanted to make it through the weekend sticking to my guns and it wasn't THAT BAD.  I did go out to dinner Saturday night and was it painful to watch my boyfriend soak the warm Italian bread in evoo? yes.  Was it painful to watch him drink his not one but two glasses of blackberry sangria? YES.  When my food arrived at the table it didn't stand a chance.  I sucked down the shrimp and scallop salad so fast I don't even know if it was good or not.  This is MY choice to do the show and these are the decisions I have to make during the process.  Is it easy all of the time, no but is it worth it in the end,I can only hope.

Date: August 5th

Weight: 130.8 (HOOTTIEEE-HOOOO) this felt really good and goes to show if you are on your game the numbers reflect it.