My Pants Fit Again..HOLLERRR!

I think I will always be in pursuit of my happy medium..does anyone feel like that?  Since about the first week in January I have been really good with my workouts/cardio/nutrition and I am seeing some great changes in my body. 

I was planning on doing a show since about a few weeks ago so I had to be my A-game but since I made the decision to not compete I have still tried to keep my workouts/food ect on track.  Weekends as I am sure most people will agree are the hardest for me.  In attempts to save money, my boyfriend and I have stayed in a lot and made dinner at home or will go out for dinner every other weekend.  I have been sticking to one drink a weekend which is kind of challenging with the work weeks I have been having.  My weekend dinners have been better than a normal week night but I am still trying to keep them pretty clean and not go overboard on portions.  So far...this little plan has been working for me. 

In terms of my workouts I have actually switched this up too.  Building is great but I had planned on doing my show to lean out and now with not doing a show I am stuck in this in between space where I had lost inches ect but I am still bulkier than I want to be.  As of right now I don't have a show planned so I don't really want to build.  I would like find a medium where I at the leanness I want (w still incorporating treats, alc) and still hold on to my muscle. 

I switched over to the lifestyle plan on my Body Ambition team which will focus on a split of HIIT based cardio that includes light weights and then a second session of lifting moderate weight at higher reps.  It's definitely a change since I was trying to lift heavy with more sets and lower reps.  I've only been on this plan for about a week but I am enjoying it thus far.  Even though the HIIT circuits are short and sweet I feel like I get a really good burn in the short amount of time.  Plus I hate machines so it's really nice having cardio that is not a treadmill or elliptical. 

For anyone who is interested in Body Ambition Lifestyle plan, Janie Soehl is your girl!  She sends me my own personal HIIT cardio 4 days a week, a special workout for Saturday Smackdown and personalized lifting plan along with macros for a reasonable monthly cost :)

Overall, I am starting to lean out and fit into my pants again LOL...and I am being dead serious.  I got to the point where nothing fit me in my closet and I was feeling like a line backer.  So I am sure you are curious about these changes since it has been a few months since I posted progress pics. 

Here's where I started....to where I am today.  I am pretty proud of my progress for only a little over 2.5 months.  I have been working hard and the scale may not necessarily show you this but pictures are a great tool to remind us to KEEP GOING!

 

Today: 3/14/2014

Being an Adult Sucks!

Where to begin.....

I would like to first apologize to anyone who has texted me in the past two weeks because I have been totally MIA.  I have been absolutely manic at work and with lifting and cardio - I am literally eating dinner, showering and going to bed.

Whether anyone actually reads my blog or not I wanted to update everyone on my current status.  I am at the age where I am on the cusp of a lot of new and exciting chapters.  A lot of my friends are getting engaged, buying houses, starting families ect.  I am not quite there yet but these new chapters are expensive.  Being financially responsible has totally taken a backseat with my last two shows and I was spending money like it was going out of style.  I had to take a step back and look at what I am spending on shows and what that money can be going towards.  Competing for me is a hobby and something I enjoy but it's not my life.  I want to buy a house and get married ect and I am at the stage where I have the opportunity to be putting a lot of money away towards these goals. 

Cue....being an adult sucks.  Making sacrifices for the greater good and therefore I will not be competing at the moment. 

I want to give my 100% at my job, with my boyfriend, family, friends and SAVING money.  Adding a show into the mix messes with all of this for me.  I am not saying that it cannot be done but for me...at what cost?  Do I want to be down to the penny before my paycheck....not really.  Between how busy I am at work and a show diet....do I want to kill someone....not really.  I had to look at the whole picture and all facets and it's the most responsible decision.

Soo...to my team, I am so very sorry I will not be on stage with you this Spring.  I was really looking forward to the show and sharing the experience with everyone. 

With all of this said...summer is still coming ya'll and I am working my ass off to lean out.  I worked for months to put on some muscle and now it's a real bitch to get this fluff off!  I am seeing some great changes I will say!  I will post some before and after pics within the next month or so to show my progress....but....I can see some abs again....there is a god!

Halloween on Slutty Steriods....The Dreaded Theme Wear

Lets talk theme wear.....the exciting yet dreaded theme wear.  To come up with something "unique" and "different" is a real pain in the ass.  Something bigger and better than last year's.....UGH...

Parts of me love theme wear because I am a creative person and like researching ideas but at the same time it's super stressful...like Halloween on slutty steroids.

Now, I am not an expert, coach or suit designer so what do I know about creating theme wear?!  Good question....nothing really lol I just have a type A personality and love researching ideas.  My them wear for 2013 panned out pretty well so if you think I may be of help...keep reading...otherwise X out and go back to Esty.

The initial drawing board can be the hardest part.  My best suggestion is to look through pictures of Fitness America, WBFF theme wear rounds or VS fashion shows.  Now I am not telling you to carbon copy a theme wear you like but if take some screen shots of aspects of costumes that you like and find interesting. Gather all of these ideas together and then start brainstorming of what this theme wear can be.....no one said your theme wear has to be real....you can be whatever you want! The last time I checked The Phantom of the Opera did not have on a strappy bikini!

I loved my theme wear for Fitness New England this past year.  After combing through endless pictures of shows I knew I wanted a cape and a strappy bikini.  I am sure the Phantom idea has been done plenty of times but they key is to make it your own. 

Once you have your idea down, start putting together a rough draft of what you imagine it looking like.  This will 100% probably change from what the end result is but it's good to get the ideas out of your head and on paper.  When you go to a suit designer you want to have a concrete idea of what you want...otherwise you'll stare at one another and they willl probably give you ideas you don't like and it will be a never ending circle.

A big aspect of theme wear is a prop..ugh..i find this the worst part!  They key to having a successful prop is something that you can operate with ease but still exciting to an audience.  I wanted a cape because it's something that was attached to me and can't fall off plus my mask was attached to the cape so it made life a million times easier.  I didn't want to wear a mask and hide my money maker (LOL JK) but I also didn't want to hold the mask and still have to operate the cape...that is just asking for trouble.  After some brainstorming...the mask was now attached to the cape and it worked out awesome!

There are a few options if you are having your them wear made by a professional.  My theme wear was compiled of different items all from different vendors which in the long run made it a bit cheaper. 

Cape: Etsy (i asked for specific colors for my cape rather than opting for the colors shown on her page)

Suit: Natalya Toporova  ...also an Etsy find.  I sent her my own fabric/sizes and asked if she could make it in the design of one of her own suits

Flower: I googled and found a website with clips pre-glued and bedazzled myself

Mask: Michael's and adhered myself (this was tricky)

Alterations: Local suit designer, Christine Summers, scrunched my butt and addded some sparkle

end product......Whallllaaaa

Oh no she didn't.....

A post and progress pics after the holidays.....oh no she didn't....yes, yes unfortunately I did and I am damn proud of them! Have I gained weight...you betcha..do I know how much...Nope. Is the back side plumper..you betcha....have I got up a size possibly 2...yes sir. Am I sitting at home crying about it? Listen ladies...In order to gain some muscle things might get uncomfortable..things are going to get ...plumper...but I'm owning it and if you don't like it than that's not my problem.

A smidge has changed since my last post and I hope people don't think I am contradicting myself but I am a firm believer in doing what you want and following your heart. I have moments where competing again looks daunting and wonder if I am up for the challenge but I have taken a long break since my last show and I think I am ready to get back in the game for 2014.

Things will be different this time around seeing that I have A LOT less discretionary income to spend on bikinis and butt glue. I've been able to put a stash away that will help pay for some of the must haves (registration, hair and makeup) but this will be a true test to how much a girl can ball on a budget.

You may be asking yourself ...after all the happy medium posts...you are seriously going to compete again? UGH ...I know, I know...parts of me are slapping myself in the face for a reality check but deep rooted in the pit of my stomach is the urge to get on stage. I have been working really hard on building muscle and I am itching to see what is underneath the fluff. I was legit....cringing at the thought of 1. Putting on a bikini this morning...and 2. Photographing this traumatic event.

To my surprise....I didn't hate. I mean it's the week after Christmas...cut a girl some slack but I was actually pretty excited to see some of my progress over the past 8 months. Sure..there's no abs at the moment but that oblique is under there somewhere. I don't hate my body at the moment at all and I am not competing to lose weight..so don't get that twisted. I am happy with my body and self-control and that is ultimately where I wanted to be before I decided to get on stage again.

If you are wondering if I weighed myself than keep a wonderin cause that ain't going to happen.

Here is my pic from today.....

Here is a comparison from today and Jul.  Yes, I am fluffier today but I can see some growth in my arms and leg muscles.

 

Looking your best vs Feeling your best...

Oh hello everybody! It's been awhile hasn't it?! I used to have exciting stories about stripper shorts I was bedazzling and the adventures of a bikini queen but life has been pretty quiet.

The upside of not being in any sort of contest prep is eating more and lifting heavier. I am continuously seeing gains in my lifting and it has been really fun. I've answered a few questions lately about competing and I'd like to share them with you. Before I ever got into this lifestyle I was pretty in-shape... nothing out of the ordinary. I would look up diets and fad excuses to drop a few pounds to be happy with a number on the scale. What isn't alluring about seeing these "inspirational" bumper stickers with a hot chick rocking a six pack in her sports bra and booty shorts with the slogan Train insane or remain the same. What does that even mean? Honestly, be active, eat in moderation, go for a freaking walk! My god, if i am not going insane in the gym and jumping through hoops in a sweat suit, does that mean I am not going to look like the girl in the picture!?

Knowing what I know now...I think it's a crock of shit. I am not saying these women on Oxygen and bumper stickers don't eat clean or work their asses off but reality is we are portraying an image to people that is highly manipulated by dehydration, specific food groups and long bouts of cardio. To those women like a Lori Harder who can rock that shit all year long...DAMN! YOU GO GIRL but to the average hard worker who eats clean in the gym and works out religiously… People don’t just step on the set and look that way. All I am getting at here is that these depictions that we are bombarded with everyday are not REAL. They are amazing and note-worthy but giving people false hope.

I've learned to accept the fact that a six pack is not going to happen unless I take extreme measures. Extreme meaning, absolutely on point with my diet, cardio, water intake ect and honestly...I just don't want to do that! There is no better feeling then Friday night sitting with my boo with a glass of wine watching TV. I had to give that up for a while and little moments like that mean a lot to me. Going out to eat with family or friends and being able to order what I want..knowing I've busted my butt in the gym all week. I am not saying I am perfectly happy with my body but it's nice feeling like there is no deadline. I have each new day to improve or regress but it's up to me!

So here's what post comp to now looks like:  It's been almost 7 months. I work out 4 to 5 or 6 days depending on the week. Cardio around 2 to 3 days for no more than 20 minutes. Prep all my meals for Mon - Fri and 50% 50% on the weekends. Am I perfect? No one is. Am I happy with my body, yes but there's always room for improvement.

Top left starting from April 2013  right before my show and last photo on the second row to the right this past weekend. Not really excited about posting these but it's to show what being SUPER strict and balls to the wall looks like vs moderate treats keeping active and minimal cardio.  I know which one I think looks the best in but I also know which one I feel the best in.  You be the judge....

 

Happy Medium

After re-reading my last post I can certainly say I am in a much better place.  I have really taken the effort to nurse my back issues and feel 100% better...never underestimate the power of stretching and a foam roller!! I had to take a big step back from lifting which really sucked...received some not so nice comments about looking like I had lost muscle....IDIOT....but that's for a different day....it was all worth it.  Each new day I am lifting heavier and feeling more energized.  Increasing my calories has really made a difference. 

My typical Mon - Fri diet lately

 

I think the best part of taking a break from competing has been really getting know to the new person I've become.  It's been a year since my first show and I've become a totally different person.  The way I view workouts, food, ect...almost everything has changed.

I took a 4 month break period from my first show until February 2013 when I started prepping for April 2013.  4 months is not a long time and certainly not long enough to get to know your new body.  I really enjoyed my summer, gained a few extra lbs, skirted around cardio but I think letting my body go through all of these changes...highs and lows..has really helped to to figure out what works.  I had weeks where I didn't prep any food and weeks where I had all my meals prepped.  Weeks where I did 6 days of working out and some week's 4 but the best part was...the world didn't end.  It's life people...we can't be 100% all of the time.  I've learned meal prepping just works for me whether I am prepping or not...I like having my food ready..it's just easier.  Some days I got overwhelmed between cardio, lifting, abs ect..it made me resent the gym for a short period of time.  I love working out and I don't want to dread it so you have to do what works for you and what makes you happy. 




Sunday...not so perfect

There's nothing wrong with doing multiple shows a year but I think its important to take a step back from the regimented lifestyle of show prep and figure out the body that works for you year round.  There a many reasons people do competitions but I think to continuously do shows back to back to avoid going back to the weight or lifestyle you once lived is not the way to go.  We have to address our issues and sometimes competing is not always the answer.  Competing is great and somewhat addicting if you ask me but I have to say, I've never been happier than I am now.  I'm lifting heavier than ever, I do cardio 3 to 4 days a week, I eat well and if I want a cookie..I eat the cookie..sometimes two.  I get to bust ass on Saturday morning at the gym then meet my girlfriend for lunch and order what I want for lunch.  I'm not crabby or run down.....it's pretty awesome.   

I want to share the images below to reflect how much the body changes and this is a one year span. The first picture below was 9/28/2012, the day after my first show. Legit withered away to nothing. I look back at this photo and cringe at how skinny I was. The second image is the week before my second show 4/20/2013. Luckily I had built up some muscle in my 4 months off season so I wasn't quite as "skinny" looking and was able to hold on to some muscle. The third photo is from 9/6/13 There's no ripped abs or snazzy oblique line. I took this photo a few weeks ago because I decided I needed to step up my game and really figure out what i want. I will post a new progress pic sometime next month. Overall, it's a roller coaster ride of ripped, to bloated back to ripped and I am on the hunt to find my happy in between



I wish everyone the best in their journeys competing or not but from someone who has done both...super strict to total binge eating at points.....it's worth taking the time to find that happy medium.  I'm still not totally there...but on my way :)

I plan to post progress pics soon.  I've been pretty good the last 3 weeks with my diet and exercise so I am hoping I see some results!

My Body's a B*atch

As a bikini competitor I pride myself on pushing...pushing past my limits to be the best that I can be. Majority of the time this mentality works in my favor but lately it's almost putting a hindrance to my progress. 

Since the Foxwoods show in April I have been trying to build, which most competitors do in their off season.  The building phase can take a toll on your body and I've noticed that every time I am in a building phase my body starts to slowly go down hill.  Starting in January 2013 I was building away for the April show and I noticed this odd breathing issue I was having.  I was having a hard time catching a satisfying deep breath (if that makes any sense to anyone).  I would get a massage here and there and the masseuse would ask me if I stretch......sometimes?  It's kind of like when the dentist ask me if I floss....on the occasion? I even went to my physical and the nurse practitioner looked at my like she had no idea what I was talking about.

I would stretch for a week or two and then slowly fall out of the habit.  I don't make stretching a priority and it's starting to cause a lot of problems.  When I was getting closer to the April show and building turned into leaning and toning I noticed a slight change in my breathing and it seemed to feel better.  Fast forward to the present and I am building again and the breathing issue is back.  I hit a breaking point a two weeks ago when my body just couldn't take it any longer.  I called to book a deep tissue massage ASAP because honestly I just wanted a serious rub down LOL...I can only convince Jonathan to massage my back so much before he starts charging.  My guess is that my breathing issues are stemming from the tightness in back and it's really freaking annoyinggg!!!

I am in a state of confusion on what to do?  I am programmed to train...get out of work, go to the gym and do my workouts.  When I do my workouts I am in pain.  I started putting in the effort to stretch before and after every workout recently but realized I need to speak to a professional.  I was able to snag a free appointment with a physical therapist at my gym this week to go over my issues.  He ran some assessments and watched me do certain basic movements (squats, lunges, push ups ect) to see what areas were tight.  Shocker...my back was the big ticket item.  He recommended taking a lil break from back and bi's and going a little lighter on my weights.  He put together a pre-workout stretching program for me and I am excited to see if it makes a difference. 

So Moral of the story..listen to your body.  I haven't listened to my body in months and now it's screaming at me and she's a real biatch.  I want to build muscle and lift like a boss but if I keep up my old routine then I am going to injure myself and be out of commission.  It's a real downer to now have to take a step backwards and decrease weights ect but I need to do what's best for my body.  The foam roller and I are going to become best friends.